It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Welp...herpes.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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