Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
