We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
