bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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