I want to have your abortion
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
