so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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