Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
