you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Randomize
