I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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