Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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