i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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