That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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