I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
