Me. At least after what I've been through.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
