ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize