i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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