ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
