your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
