its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
what is it with giant penises always finding me
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
