don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
