where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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