I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
