let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
