Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The power of my boobs compel you
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
