Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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