I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
