I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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