Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize