I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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