God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
