Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
