i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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