Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
