she looked like the bat from fern gully.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
