I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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