All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
