Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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