Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
