Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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