so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
