I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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