He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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