She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
