ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
me + whiskey = a bad person
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize