Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
