how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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