her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
