I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
