How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
