Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
