Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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