The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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