my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
