I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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