We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize