evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The air taste purple.
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