Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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