O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
