and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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