my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
