I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize