very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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