What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
