Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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