I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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