4 words: hood of his car
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
