One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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